BBC radio 2

Did you hear our how to guides on Simon Mayo's Radio 2 Drivetime show?

You may have read about Howopia in The Telegraph?

How To Keep A Guy In 10 Days

Your rating: None
How to keep a guy in 10 days! Most of us have seen the movie “How to Lose a Guy in 10 days”, and we all hope that we reach the point of getting the girl or guy in the end. But the common experience unfortunately is heart ache and break-up consistently until we find the person who we hope to grow old with. Relationships are about constant work which is the first cardinal rule of being in a relationship. So if you adopt the 10 day rule to your relationships and how to keep your man happy, I assure you that your relationship will not only flourish but you will both reap the benefits of a loving and fulfilling relationship. The 10 day rule can be applied at any time throughout a relationship, be it at the beginning, middle stages or even in a long term relationship. The essence of the 10 day rule is to create and maintain uniqueness, quality and mystery in your relationship, three things that we always look for but seldom find to the level that we are looking for.
Day 1 Kiss your man like there is no one else that exists in the world! There is so much intimacy that can be created from just one kiss. Think about the build-up when you are being courted by your man, the pivotal moment is when it’s time to kiss each other. That moment is loaded with many expectations and hopes for the future of your relationship together. Why not recreate that moment so that it becomes part of who you both are in the relationship. So when you are apart for a period (gone to work or away on business), there is such a longing for that passionate kiss that every time you come back together again it feels like the first time you’ve kissed each other.
Day 2 Constant communication! We communicate with our bodies and through language, but more often than not we feel it only necessary to communicate using language. Learning to ‘feel’ each other and one another’s moods, allows for so much information to be gained from this process. This not only brings us closer together as individuals, but equally develops our ability to tap into our partners feelings and check in to see if they are truly ok. It is a remarkable way of safeguarding yourself and your relationship as there will be little or no experiences of misunderstanding. If per se there is a misunderstanding, this can be resolved in a few minutes of discussion rather than burying things and adding to the water under the bridge.
Day 3 Find a balance between individual and joint space! There is no worse feeling than being smothered, especially by someone we love! Realistically men and women should be seen as two different species and on top of that viewed as speaking two different languages altogether. Men and women both need personal space to reflect on things so as to gain a greater sense of identity and a greater sense of self. But if things within the relationship are too smothered and there is no room to focus on the individual, it is often the case with men that they begin to feel very constricted and unable to have that sense of freedom. Keep in mind that most men are like kites…If you allow a kite to fly freely you are always in control of the lead and can lead him in whichever way you wish. However, when you pull the lead in too close, the kite becomes erratic and difficult to manage. Keep this metaphor in mind when thinking about your man and his and your personal space.
Day 4 Confront everything together! Confrontation is a word that is often misunderstood. When we think confrontation we think angrily facing up to something; and maybe in this context it’s not such a bad thing. Understandably there is strength in numbers, now imagine how less difficult things in life will be if you and your partner are fighting from the same corner. You can back-up each others ideas and opinions, agree to disagree and look for solutions together as a team instead of being too sensitive that nothing can be said in discussion form. Use this as an opportunity to understand how both of you relate in disputes and arguments…it’s a given that because you are in love with each other, neither party wants to hurt the other, so create a platform that anything can be said with the intention of discussing or confronting everything together. Imagine that both of you are in a sail boat: one of you needs to manage the rudder, while the other manages the sail—but both are the captains of the boat with equal roles in directing that boat to where you want to go.
Day 5 Never become complacent in making love! When we have the first encounter of making love to our partners, this may be awkward, it may be perfect, and it may be a number of different things. However, when we learn more about our partners sexual habits and behaviours, we learn to be freer in our bodies and in the manner to which we express ourselves sexually. What follows is a need to make passionate love at every waking moment, even if this means sacrificing valuable sleep for the sake of togetherness and pleasure! By focusing on maintaining this ‘teenage like’ horniness, your relationship will never become boring or complacent. Not only will your man be happy, but so will you by feeling invigorated through orgasm.
Day 6 Sacrifice yourself for him! By no means am I saying punish yourself for the sake of him, but there are many moments in life when we recognise that a kind act towards our partners can make them feel a million times better in themselves so that they are more able to reciprocate and acknowledge us. An example of this is when your husband or partner gets the kids up for school. What stops you getting up before him, and telling him to sleep in for half an hour extra? Such situations of sacrifice are more often than not reciprocated, so by being mindful of this, more doors of opportunity can be opened pressing you both closer together.
Day 7 Help him feel masculine! Regardless of which man you are with, and we can identify that there are many different types of men out there. A man feeling masculine helps him connect with his primal roots. This fills him with vigour, energy; need to exert himself more which all focused in the right direction make him a better lover, a more exhilarated and active father, and awakened protector and container for you. Moreover, this will prompt him to be more attentive to your femininity and maintain a much needed masculine/feminine harmony within the couple.
Day 8 Teach him something new about you! This is vital in any relationship! Otherwise there is the potential of falling into what I call “the honey I’m home syndrome”. How many times do women and men both use the timely words “honey I’m home, how was your day?” The usual answer we get is “fine/terrible/okay/ etc…” By teaching him something new about yourself, instead of asking him how his day was, creates an unconscious process of communicating that is what draws us to our partners when we first meet them. In the beginning of any relationship, we always opt for telling the other about us so that we can establish whether there are similarities and what makes this person more special than the next. Not only does this teach our partners something new and interesting about us, it proves to us that we are constantly working on our own self, the benefits of which are endless!
Day 9 Seduce him surprisingly! Every man out there has a number of fantasies, ranging from women in suspenders, naked beneath a trench coat, through to a schoolgirl outfit. Surprise can invoke a much needed knee jerk reaction at any stage of a relationship, especially when it means that your man has to unwrap you as gently or as vigorously as you know he will when he sees his ultimate fantasy being brought to life.
Day 10 Don’t wear any makeup and let him show you how beautiful you are to him! In your partners eyes you are more beautiful when you just “awake” than most women are in a lifetime. By showing him how comfortable you are without makeup, he will respond to that beauty being illustrated (by being confident in yourself), and for this he will always be attracted. I agree that many men are purely visual, but confidence presents itself in many forms especially manifesting itself in our bodies. Be proud of you and what you represent in any context and he will be eternally focused on how “damn sexy you are”!


Post new comment

This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Featured writers

We have had a chat with a couple of our more experienced writers.

Find out more about their experiences and why they contribute to Howopia.

Spotlight on two writers.

Share this

How To guides

Howopia is a new website dedicated to bringing together a community of experts to create the most useful 'How To' guides, to help you to achieve almost anything.

Related links