BBC radio 2

Did you hear our how to guides on Simon Mayo's Radio 2 Drivetime show?

You may have read about Howopia in The Telegraph?

How To Ask a Man Out

0
Your rating: None
Social customs change quite quickly and it is no longer frowned upon for a woman to ask a man out on a date. Assuming you know a little bit about the person, and you know for certain that they are a) unmarried, b) not in any serious relationship and c) straight, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t make the first move.
What you'll need: 
Plenty of confidence
1: 
To avoid the risk of embarrassment make sure the invitation is for an event that is of mutual interest with no styrings attached, and this will help to prevent any long silences, Try to obtain tickets from the various websites that offer free entry to gardens, historic houses, sporting event, etc., or those redeemable with Tesco vouchers – then with hand on heart you can say you have a spare ticket going and would they like to go with you.
2: 
Set your own parameters for the date and, for example, suggest that you’ll supply the picnic if he does the driving (petrol). That way you’re both fully aware of the financial implications and neither of you will be embarrassed by the cost of an unexpected meal, or change of plan.
3: 
To avoid any misunderstandings, try to arrange your first date during daylight hours. If things go badly wrong, it’s better to be stranded when public transport is still running, rather than finding yourself miles from home after dark, in unfamiliar surroundings.
4: 
Don’t invite your date into your home, either when collecting you, or delivering you safely to your door. An invitation for a drink inside could transmit the wrong signals.
5: 
Don’t over-dress. If you’ve arranged an informal date, it’s inadvisable to get ‘kitted-up’ for Ascot. Look clean and tidy but leave the trainers and jeans at home.
6: 
Don’t flirt and send out sexy body language – you might regret it later on in the day!
7: 
Do give some pertinent information about yourself but don’t launch into a full-scale self-promotion campaign – and keep off the subject of ex-husbands, boyfriends, or lovers.
8: 
If you’ve thoroughly enjoyed his company, say so – but if you find you’ve made a bit of a mistake, thank him politely for accompanying you to the event and shake hands. This conveys that your relationship remains on a formal footing and hopefully he will take the hint without taking offence.
9: 
A follow-up text message saying how much you enjoyed yourself is fine – a telephone call is not.
10: 
If he doesn’t call and ask you out again, put it down to experience … and move on even if you are disappointed.
Conclusion: 
If your date doesn’t turn out as you’d expected, resist the urge to show your annoyance – be tactful. And if it’s a work colleague, or a member of the same club don’t make snide comments about his short-comings. After all, it was you who did the asking!
Tips: 
Don’t look upon the date as a possible future partner otherwise you may miss out on friendship, which is equally as important.
If in doubt, fall back on good old-fashioned common sense and good manners – even if your date turns out to have little of either.
Warnings: 
Some men might find it off-putting to be asked out by a women, so don’t take it to heart if he refuses. Perhaps he’s not so adventurous after all.
References: 

Comments

Post new comment

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.

Featured writers

We have had a chat with a couple of our more experienced writers.

Find out more about their experiences and why they contribute to Howopia.

Spotlight on two writers.

Share this


How To guides

Howopia is a new website dedicated to bringing together a community of experts to create the most useful 'How To' guides, to help you to achieve almost anything.

Related links